Saturday, November 12, 2011

Film Review- Rockstar


It’s been quite a long since I’ve written a review for any movie. Still let me try this time around for Rockstar.

“Pata hai, yahaan se bahut dur.. Galat aur sahi ke paar.. Ek maidaan hai. Main wahaan milunga tujhe!”
This is how Imtiaz Ali’s latest directorial offering Rockstar starts. Use of these lines of great Persian Sufi Poet Rumi sets the tone for the movie. And then a Ranbir Kapoor, in his long-hair, “Rockstar” look, full of arrogance and attitude, takes center stage in a concert where fans have flocked in by the thousands for a glimpse of him. You wonder if this is going to be another Imtiaz Ali masterstroke. And to be very frank, it did turned out to be a master-stroke for me. If not an exact one, it was a well crafted one still.

With movies like JWM and LA, Imtiaz made quite a reputation for himself. And on the basis of this, I went for Rockstar. Other reason that pulled me upto the cinema-hall was the music of Rockstar. The music has already created a platform for this movie. And it had to since it comes out the kitty of Living Legend A.R. Rahman [I think it’s right time we start calling him a LEGEND]. To say huge would be disrespectful towards my extent of excitement actually. A R Rahman’s stupendous and intoxicating music was the main reason I would say.

Let’s talk a bit about storyline. Janardan Jakhad (Ranbir Kapoor) is a Haryanvi-Born-In-Delhi simpleton/geek who aspires to be a music star [rather a rockstar like Jim Morrison] and loves music passionately. But all he gets for his music is ridicule and laughs. His family doesn’t support his ambitions and his college canteen owner thinks he lacks that one tragic feeling of loss and desperation, which all successful artists have in common. He is told that only a broken heart can yield brilliant music. And so, quite stupidly and innocently, he goes up to the most sought after girl (but soon to get married to some high class man from the Czech Republic) in his college – Heer Kaul (Nargis Fakhri), and tells her that he loves her. I won’t go into much detail, but this is the best part of the movie. They become more than good friends, as she realizes his innocence and plain goodwill at heart. He goes wherever she wants to go, whenever she wants to go, even at the risk of his passion for music. She renames Janardan “Jordan” – a name which he keeps forever after, much like their estranged relation. Jordan later gains immense fame and popularity, but his mind never gets the happiness he seeks. His music becomes popular, but he becomes a portrait of everything “negative” in the scoiety. What happens further is the part they would blame me for dishing out “spoilers”.

The concept and the story of the film is quite innovative and intriguing. The best part is the complex screenplay. Yes, the screenplay is complex and it is still Imtiaz Ali’s film. Probably the most complex one from him so far. Rockstar has a perfect screenplay that is needed for a film that tries to show the dilemmas and complexities of its central character/s. The relationship between the two main leads has been established with great honesty and sincerity, typical Imtiaz Ali way. The ‘gand machana’ sequences might remind you of JWM and Geet [Kareena’s character in JWM]. Still, somewhere it won’t connect with the Indian audiences on the basic level. Also, people will be bit disappointed because Imtiaz is known for a unique way of story-telling female character establishment. Here he failed moderately in story telling as many scenes are having a feel of chock-up which adds to the woos of already dragging movie of some 2hours 50minutes and Imtiaz failed miserably to establish Heer’s character. Remember Kareena and Deepika’s characters in his previous two ventures? And the open-end. Well, it must have been a tough call for Imtiaz to go for an open-end because keeping the desi audience in mind, I personally would not have vouched this idea. It takes lot of guts to do so with such heavily expected project.

Another best part [apart from ARR] was Ranbir Kapoor. Boy! What a brilliant performance he gave! He swept me off my feet. Giving 101% to a character is something too difficult at times. And Ranbir must be lauded for his genuine effort. I felt sad for his character during the tragic moments. This in itself speaks a volume about his performance. It seems like JJ’s character was written for him only. The way he first played a Delhi geek and then a psycho Rockstar and then finally a mix of these two shows that he is growing exponentially with each film. It’s not that easy to hop between two personalities in the same character. And looking real doing that is something of a new challenge in itself. Nargis Fakhri looks very beautiful, no doubt in that. Even her she emoted perfectly too. But she badly needs to work upon her accent. Her dialogues delivery is too labooured. I know the dubbing was done by someone else, but still I could make out that accent through lip-reading. Others in the supporting lead did a good job too. Especially, Piyush Mishra had couple of awesome funny sequences [like the one when was having the body-massage!]. Aditi Rao Hydari looked pretty. Kumud Mishra was good too. Shernaz Patel carried-on from where she left in her previous project Guzaarish.

Now, coming to the main part. Rockstar is going to be a musical. This was what Imtiaz had said while the film was announced. And when he announced that its ARR who is going to compose music for it, then the expectation from the album got totally a new pull. Nobody today would even dare to judge him. That’s why I used the term “LEGEND” above. His music is like a scotch. It won’t get you high at the word ‘go’ but it will slowly start affecting you. The same is the case with the album of Rockstar. Man! Wattay album I tell you. There are 14 tracks in the album. And each one is more captivating than the last. But surely my pick would be ‘Kun Faaya Kun’, ‘Saadda Haq’ ‘Naadaan Parindey’ and ‘Jo Bhi Main’. Also, with this album, Irshad Kamil seems to have established himself well in the industry. From here onwards, he would be the one I would be looking forward to listen to. Personally, I’m not a huge fan of Mohit Chauhan. But still I feel that he gave a dimension to the character of JJ. The picturisation of the track ‘Jo Bhi Main’ and ‘Naadaan Parindey’ gives you a feel that you are actually watching some live rock show. While, Kun Faaya Kun gives the whole atmosphere in the cinema-hall a Sufi touch. Also, ARR's background too blended with the movie brilliantly.

Finally, on a scale of 1 to 5, I’m going to give 3 honourable stars to this film. 3*/5* 0.5* for Ranbir, 0.5* to ARR, 0.5* to Irshad Kamil, 0.5* to cinematographer Anil Mehta, 0.5* to Imtiaz for his effort and 0.5* to Shamsher Kapoor for his last on-screen appearance! [Come on, itna “saadda haq” to banta hai Shammi Ji ka!] ;)

Reason to watch it- Go for seeing Ranbir portray a journey of a man who gets himself into a shit. A journey of local Pitampura geek to the world renowned music star. May be to watch Jungli Jawani too!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

A Void ...

I write only on two occasions.
1] When I'm too high.
2] When I'm too low.

The reason for today's post is the latter one. I happened to lose my chacha-dada today [my actual gransfather's younger sibling]. My paternal side is in a way a joint-family. We all have our seperate houses but they are located at a distance of less than 5 kilometers from each other. So we can get to each other just with a sound of whistle! We always celebrate festivals together. The one who died last night was one of the most jovial person I've ever experienced in my physical existence of 19 odd years. I remember no other man alive had more jokes on farting as him!


I don't know how do I tag the last 9 months that have gone by. It had it's share of highs. Me clearing my CA-IPCC is one of the best memory it has. Similarly, it had it's own share of lows too. My mom isn't keeping too well with her back-pain these days. But the major one includes lose of three of my elders. My grandfather had two brothers. Now he is all alone. The wife of his eldest sibling too passed away this Jan.

I can see any damn thing on this mother earth, but not tears in my grandfather's eyes at the age of 76. I controlled my emotions to the max I could. But I finally broke down into tears when I saw him crying. He is the one who always scolded my parents when they slapped me when I was a kid as I used to cry a lot. Today, he cried like a baby. How aptly they say that people above 60 and below 6 are quite same. It was so difficult to console him. And it was valid too. One can't control emotions at the death of one's dear/near one. He is 76 but is going strong even now. And I pray that he continues this way, FOREVER. I know I'm wishing for a kind of 'anhoni' but we humans develop such strong bonds that our spines get chilled at the very thought of losing him/her.

It was my second time at somebody's funeral. The first time was on 19th April. It was my taayaa-dada's funeral then. Don't know why but people gets involved in their very own conversation, as if they have gathered for some ordinary social-meet and not someone's funeral. This is my particular experience. Family members cry in hue but such people laugh from quite a visible distance. They're sick, I feel. There are some people who seems to have taken a specialised degree as to how the things should go at such instances. They know all the things right from getting the prior approval from the grave-yard, getting the requirements for arthi upto the finals. The sight of dead-body gets me crazy. It feels like he will get up now and will ask everyone that why were they crying. But again, impossible wish [thinking would sound more appropriate here]. All those final rites and then the walk upto 'shamshaan', putting the woods over the dead body, putting lots of panch-tatva and finally the holy pyre in the end. It was so quick! And within few minutes he turned into a debri of ashes. Everyone returned home. The guests went to theirs. We came to ours. Mom took us in by sprinkling the Ganga-Jal on us with a gold ornament in her fist.

Aah! finally we had bath. We were hungry like some famine-affected. I know the readers will tag me as a 'chutiya' reading to this piece but the fact is no matter how shattered you are after such incident, at one point everything seems to be a big 'zero'. You feel like there is nothing left. The 'shamshaam' is such a calm place I tell you. It's gets so irritating when phones ring [one of the not so gentleman typed there used some china cell and had 'munni badnaam hui' as his caller-tune]. Felt like kicking the ass of such guy.

I'm feeling like three pillars of my building are shaken. Don't know how would this void get refilled. Probably it will never. Here is a summed up version of the entire experience. Read it if you want-

बज़्म-ए-मातम की गहमा-गहमी थी
एक जोश-ओ खरोश था हरसू
" 'उस' को भी तो कोई खबर कर दो "
" 'उस फलां' को खबर करी की नहीं "
शहर के फ़ोन जुड़ते जाते थे
एक कोलाज बन रहा था कहीं

एक साहब ने रोते-रोते कहा

" चेहरा देखो तो सो रहे हैं अभी
'भाई' कह दो जाग जायेंगे "

कुछ जियादा ही मोतबिर से लोग
जिम्मेवारी से बात करते हैं :
" लाश कितने बजे उठाएंगे ? "
" थोड़ी बासी दही मांगा लेना "
" आखिरी दीद कर लें अब, कह दो "
" देख लो अंतिम दर्शन को-
कुछ और आने वाले हैं शायद "
कोई गाडी रुकी है फिर आके
सारे चेहरे पलट गए हैं उधर
दूर से ऊँचे हो गेहैं विलाप
एक-दो लोग थामने के लिए
बढ़ गए हैं सभी से कुछ आगे
और इस मौके के रटे जुमले
" सबको एक दिन तो जाना ही है "
" आई को कौन टाल सकता है "
" सब्र-सब्र धीर धरो "

रोने वाले एक ने रोक कर रोना
सुबकियाँ लेते-लेते फिर पूछा :
" कब हुआ ? -कैसे ? -किस तरह ये हुआ ... ?
कल तो ठीक थे लगते थे ...
पिछले मंगल तो मिले थे मुझसे
हंसकर कहने लगे ...
' अब के भी न घर आये तो ...
मुंह नहीं देखूंगा फिर कभी '
फूटकर फिर से रो पडा कोई
" सब्र-सब्र धीर धरो "
रोयें भी तो कहाँ तलक रोयें
भूख से पेट गुदगुदाने लगे
बासी होने लगा है अब माहौल
अब उठाओ भी, ले चलो इनको

गहमा-गहमी थी खूब मरघट में
कौन है, किसकी लाश आई है
कुछ अहम लोग भी दिखाई पड़ते हैं
" रास्ते में खबर मिली मुझको
मैं तो सीधा यहीं चला आया "
" आपका केस था न कचेहरी में ? "
" अब क्या करें 'इस' वजह से फिर से तारीख पड़ जाएगी "
" मैं तो बस दांग रह गया sunke
सेहत अच्छी थी आज भी टच-वूड "
घी से नहलाओ लाश को
पञ्च-तत्त्व खिलाओ लाश को
गुलाल छिडको
फूल माला पहनाओ
कपूर और सूखे नारीयल का एक महीन सा बिस्तर बनाओ नीचे
" और लकड़ी उठाके लाश पर रख दी "

लौट आये जलाने वाले सभी
फिर नहाए उठाने वाले सभी
" लेना-देना चूका गया " बोले
हाथ मलके ज़मानेवाले सभी
राख जब ठंडी होगी कल परसों तलक
"फूल चुगने" जायेंगे दोनों बेटे उनके
मिटटी के कलश में भरके ढेर-का-ढेर
लगायेंगे उसपर ऊपर लाल कपड़ा
नासिक में बहाने के लिए
कुछ रुपये और दे के पंडों को वहाँ पर
एक लम्बी सी लेंगे सभी
" मिट्टी में मिल गयी मिट्टी "

आज जब कैलेंडर में सुबह हुई
" 'वे' कहीं नहीं थे
'वे' जो कल तलक 'हैं' थे
आज 'थे' हो चुके थे "

Sunday, September 25, 2011

The Letter - 2 ...

Dear Papa,

Hope this letter finds you in good health and spirit.

This is my second letter to you, I am sure you would wonder what made me write to you again after so many years. Well, I would be lying if I say I have an answer. In my last letter I asked you to be a part of my birthday, but guess God doesn’t allow too many outings. No worries, good that you listened to him, after all he is the one who takes care of you. My birthday was good by the way. I have made some good friends here. I hope the ones who surround you there love you and keep you happy.

Papa, I know God wouldn’t agree to it, but I wish you could see me once. I am a grown up girl now. I have started earning on my own, taking my decisions by myself. I have learnt a lot of things since you left. I wish you could be here once and see how I look now, how I talk, how I behave and how happy I am. I also want to buy for you the blue striped kurta that I saw in Pantaloons, from my own money. I think you know how much I wanted to buy it for you. I told you silently. I still believe that you hear me when I talk to you in silence. But nevermind, I have grown up enough to understand that everything doesn’t work the way I like.

I am not going to invite you for my next birthday. I know you will not come and I don’t want to give you the feeling of disappointing me. My birthdays go pretty well now and I miss you less. I wonder if this would make you happy or sad. But I want you to be comforted in knowing that I am doing well and making the best out of my life. And of course, I miss you, sometimes.

Please take care of you, I am not sure if I’ll write again.

Your loving daughter.

The Letter ...

Found it on some blog through Random Browsing ... I got teary eyes reading this letter... Will also publish the 2nd part ...

Dear Papa,
Hope this letter finds you in good health and spirit.
I have been thinking of writing to you ever since you left us, but my best friend says that there is no mail service to the place you’re in. If this is the case, my letter is going to be the very first one in heaven. Exciting...isn’t it? She also says that people who go to heaven never come back, but don’t you worry, I’ve told her that you are different.
Papa, it’s been two years since I’ve been celebrating my birthday without you. I feel your presence around me when I cut the cake though, but this is not enough. This time I want you next to me in person. I want my friends to see that my papa is better looking and more caring than theirs. I know it’ll be hard to convince God. If it is much of a problem, make him talk to me, I’ll get his permission. I’ve heard he doesn’t say ‘no’ to children…just like you have never said ‘no’ to me.
One last thing, if possible bring grandma and grandpa along. We’ll send them back after the party if they want. But you are going to stay with me for all my coming birthdays. You can’t refuse me on anything…I so much know it.
I miss you papa…don’t disappoint me…please.
Waiting,
You loving daughter.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Review of Mausam...




I’m in a kind of soup as to how should rate this movie. Should I give away my self-generated tag of being a critic and say that this is a good movie for the sake of being an ardent Pankaj Kapur fan or should I say that this a bad piece of cinema for I didn’t liked some portions. I guess I should take tha mid-way. And hence I would say that this is a moderate success for Pankaj Kapur. Well, no one would ever dare to rate Pankaj Kapur’s acting talent because actors like him are one in trillions. As a script-writer and screenplay writer, he has succeeded too but when it came to handling few vital portions of the film, he has failed miserably. Otherwise “Mausam” is a master-piece. Where he has left the work half-done, that’s the only place where it takes a dip. In this age of film-making where one fears of the length of the movie if it touches 120 minutes, Pankaj Kapur and Team has dared to make a movie of closed to three hours. It may work as the negative for this film.

The tag line of the film is ‘a love story beyond romance’. And it’s true. It’s a love story wrapped up in multiple emotions. Major one is tragedy, if it’s the term which is well-suited. Film takes on various tragedies that have taken place in our country since the last 25 years. It starts with the after-math of Operation Blue Star and creation of Ayodhya. From this we get the resultant ill-famous collapse of Babri Masjid and then serial blasts of 1993 in Bombay [now Mumbai]. Following-up is the Kargil-war of 1999. Then there is an affect of 9/11 attack in this story. Then there is this MNIK kind of interrogation of a Muslim. Finally the climax clashes with 2003 Gujarat riots. One may feel that woving a story around so many incidents is a big deal. Of course it’s a big deal. And the story is well inter-woven too. But the thing, is after a point, the intake of other tragedy gets into the skin of the audience.

Binod Pradhan must be lauded equally alongwith Pankaj Kapur for capturing the feelings of former. The feel of Mallukot [rather a village] is very much evident. I’m from Rajasthan. And believe me, there is not of a difference between a village of Rajasthan and that of Punjab. It was the best feel-good factor of the film that the soul of an Indian Village was very well captured. Shahid Kapoor gave a performance of his lifetime, probably. Sonam A Kapoor [ya! She is still under the chhatra-chhaayaa of Papa Anil !!] looked b’ful but lacked that acting skill to match-up Shahid. Shahid performed cutely when he was a village-boy, Harry. Shahid performed maturely when he became Sqn. Ldr. Harinder Singh. Shahid performed a true lover when he gave a love scene with Sonam. All in all, it’s Shahid Kapoor’s brilliant acting and Pankaj Kapur’s honest attempt to try something new is what makes Mausam stand apart from the category of Chal-Taau romantic movies.

Pankaj sir has put up lots of hard-work into this project and it is very much visible in every frame. Alongwith story, direction and screenplay, Pankaj sir has also written the dialogues of this film. And let me take this opportunity to say that he has penned down some awesome dialogues for his darling project Mausam. Also, I was really amazed by his music sense. One would find a song for each situation by listening to this album. The only thing that irks me lack of inclusion of the Track ‘Zara Si Mehandi Laga Do’ in the album. It is sung by Sonu Nigam and Shreya Ghoshal [Do google for the accuracy of female singer as I’ve some doubt]. The scenes of Pammo’s [Shahid’s sister in the film] Mehandi Rasm and when Harry [Shahid] and Aayat [Sonam] meets in Scotland having heart to heart chat are probably one of the best romantic confrontation scene in the history of Indian Cinema. I personally haven’t seen such a b’ful portrayal of love on screen before. Also, I spoke of Shahid’s acting. Let me tell you that it’s not just about facing the camera with proper expression and confidence. One more thing that goes into making of an awesome actor is getting the diction and accent of character as per the requirements. And Shahid excelled at this. Probably he might have taken lessons from his dad when it came to having proper Punjabi Boy image in the first mausam [summer] of the film. And suddenly howed maturity in the next frame of second mausam. He portrayed the reqd. attitude of an SQN. LDR. Couple of scenes may remind of his earlier cult Kaminey [2009].

The film gets going in the slow fashion from the second mausam [monsoon]. Don’t know why but every scene shot at Scotland is b’ful but still lacks that grip. But each and every angle of the story is well inter-woven. Use of Aditi Sharma for putting that ting of tri-angular love story could have been extended but seeming the already over-stretched length, the team would have dropped this idea. It’s more of every other love story blossoming during the tenure of Hindu-Muslim riot but it has got some significant treatment. The music [both songs and background score] is one of the main pillar of this movie. At one point one feels that he is watching a music-album in which a sort of story is involved to join two tracks with one another. This is, in no way, a slap on face of anyone. Rather, it’s an acknowledgement of handsome work put-up by the Music Composer Pritam. He did the same task successfully for Life...In A Metro [2007] as well. The use of ‘abhi na jao chhhod kar’ at two instances are really heart-melting. The use of ‘search’ instruments when the chasing scene appears speaks volume with regards to the music sensibilities of Pankaj ji. This shows how young he is young at heart. He made well utilisation of his wife Supriya Pathak Kapur. We all know her as Hansa of popular TV comedy show Khichdi. Here, she puts a serious act. I got to visualise Pankaj Kapur in Shahid in various scenes. Don’t know how to tag it? Whether it was a win of Shahid as actor or of Pankaj ji as director? Guess, both!
Why to watch it- Overall, it’s a colossal failure. If you’ve lots of time and you can tolerate a slow movie go for it. It has quite a good number of instances that is awesome, but weak application of major portions during the climax is what blows away the the handsome effort of scripting too. Out and out, go at your risk. Go for watching some really exotic locations.
CBFC rating- U [without any cuts]
My rating- 2.5*/5*

P.S. I’m leaving you with few of my most favourite dialogues from the movie.
1. "Is zameen aur is aasmaan se pare… jahaan na waqt, na tumhare mere siwa koi aur, bas ek jazba ho…ki tum mujhmein ho aur main tum mein.."
2. Sonam- Tumhare haath ko kya hua hai Harry? [pointing towards his paralyzed hand]
Shahid- Kuch nahin, tumhara takiya banne laayak toh ab bhi hai hi...
3. Sonam- ye kaun hain Harry? [pointing towards the rioters]
Shahid- Koi nahin, bas kuch bhayaanak saaye hain jinke na naam hain aur na hi koi chehre.
4. Mujhe zindagi ka suroor hai. Ye baahri nasha jab utarta hai toh bahut dukhta hai [was something of this sort where ‘baahri nasha’ was referred to Drugs, Alcohol and Tobacco].

5. Kisi apne ko vardi mein dekh ke himmat badh jaati hai.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

फिल्म रिव्यू - 'बोल'





'बोल' के लिए सिर्फ इतना ही कहूँगा के बहुत कम ऐसी फिल्में होती हैं जो व्यक्ति को अन्दर तक झख्झोर के रख देती हैं. तारीफ़ करनी होगी शोएब मंसूर की जिन्होंने 'खुदा के लिए' के बाद फिर से एक बहुत ही ज़हीन फिल्म का निर्देशन किया है. शोएब मंसूर की एक खासियत यह है वे बुनियादी तौर पर चीज़ों को देखते हैं. इसकी एक साफ़ छाप 'खुदा के लिए' में भी नज़र आई थी और 'बोल' में भी नज़र आती है. वे उन प्रोग्रेसिव फिल्मकारों में से हैं जो चीज़ों को सटीक ढंग से परख कर उसपर फिल्म की कहानी गढ़ते हैं.

'बोल' की भी यही खासियत है. इसकी नक्काशे सी गढ़ी हुई कहानी. बहुत कम ऐसे लोग देखने में आते हैं जो किन्नरों जैसे विषय को छूने की हिम्मत रखते हैं. शोएब मंसूर ने अपनी दोनों ही फिल्मों में एशिया की दकियानुसियत पर एक करार व्यंग्य किया है. एक धुंधली तस्वीर दिखाई है दुनिया को. यहाँ मैं ज़िक्र करना चाहता हूँ की शोएब मूलतः पाकिस्तानी हैं और ऊपर मैंने लिखा है 'एशिया'. एशिया लिखने से मेरा मतलब था के आज भी हिंदुस्तान, नेपाल, भूटान जैसे देशों में बेटों की चाह पुर्जोरता पर है. आज भी यहाँ का एक तबका है जो सोचता है के ज्यादा बच्चे पैदा करने से भविष्य सुधरेगा. वे यह नहीं सोचते की भविष्य जब सुधरेगा तब सुधरेगा, पर वर्त्तमान में तोह उन्हें पालना पड़ेगा. ज्यादा हाथ की चाह रखने वालों को यह समझ नहीं आता के जब तक वे हाथ कमाने लायक नहीं हो जाते तब तक तोह उनके मुंह भी हैं, उसे भी भरना होगा. और किस तरह लड़कियों को आज भी 'शिक्षित' समाज होने की बावजूद एक देनदारी समझा जाता है. ये लोग यह नहीं सोचते कि सायंस ने यह साबित कर दिया है के इंसान के शुन्क्राणुओं से इस बात का ताल्लुक है के वो लड़का पैदा करेगा या लड़की और न ही ये अल्लाह या इश्वर निर्धारित करता है. यह भी बहुत ही मार्मिक ढंग से दिखाया गया है के किस तरह आज भी ओछी सोच हमारे दिल-ओ-दिमाग पर हावी है. हम कहने को तो मौल में घुमते हैं, मल्टीप्लेक्स में पिक्चरें देखते हैं...पर सोच से हम कितने गरीब हैं.


कहानी फिल्म कि बड़ी है. पर कहीं भी ऐसा लगता के फिल्म उबाऊ हो रही हो. हर दृश्य अपने आप में कहानी को बाँध कर रखता है. और शोएब मंसूर ने जितने भी कलाकार ढूंढें हैं, सभी अपना अपना काम पूरी तन्मयता से करते हैं. मुझे चंकाने वाली चीज़ लगी जब इंटरवल हुआ. मुझे लगा के फिल्म ख़त्म हो गयी है. पर स्क्रीन पर इंटरवल हुआ तो मैं चौंक पड़ा. क्यूँ कि जितनी भी फिल्म हुई थी मुझे लगा के स्टोरी में आगे डेवलप्मेंट कि शायद गुंजाइश न हो. और घडी कि तरफ मैंने देखा तो एहसास हुआ के अभी तोह सिर्फ ७५ मिनट बीते हैं. तारीफ़ करनी होगी लगभग आधी से ज्यादा फिल्म शोएब ने इंटरवल के पहले पहल ७५ मिनट में खिंच दी है जिसमें "किन्नर भाई" का किस्सा शामिल है. फिर जब इंटरवल के बाद दोबारा शुरू हुई तो बस अंत तक बाहरी दुनिया से संपर्क कटवा दिया. इतनी सादगी से इतने बोझल कर देने वाले विषय को उठाना और उसे अंत तक खींचना और साथ ही साथ यह भी ध्यान देना के फिल्म कहीं स्टीरियोटाइप्स में उलझ के ना रह जाए, अपने आप में एक जीत है निर्देशक कि. इस तरह कि फिल्मों का एक अलग ही दर्शक वर्ग होता है और मैं चाहता हूँ के वे दर्शक यह फिल्म ज़रूर देखें क्यूँ कि यह फिल्म दिल से बनायी गयी है. और इसकी कोई कहानी नहीं है, बल्कि एक सच्चाई का तमाचा है सभी के मुंह पर के इस पढ़े लिखे समाज में भी कुछ ऐसे तत्व आज भी मौजूद हैं.

फिल्म कि कहानी शुरुवात के दृश्य से ही बयान हो जाती है. लहौर कि रहने वाली एक लड़की [जुनैब] पर उसके अपने पिता को मार डालने का आरोप है. उस लड़की ने आज तक किसी भी अदालत में अपना कोई बयान नहीं दिया. अंत में उसका मामला पाकिस्तान के वजीर-ए-आज़म के पास पहुँचता है. यह समझ कर के शायद उसने आजतक कुछ नहीं कहा अपने बचाव में इसलिए वो वाकई में आरोपी है, आज़म उसके मौत के तलाफ्नामे पर दस्तखत कर देते हैं. पर उसने आखिर में एक अपील कि है के फांसी कि तख्ते पर कड़ी हो कर वो मीडिया को अपनी कहानी सुनाना चाहती है. इस पर वे अपनी रजामंदी दे देते हैं. मीडिया का जमावड़ा लहौर जेल को घेर लेता है और जेलर ४ बजे तक का समय निर्धारित करता है. उस वक़्त के अन्दर तक जुनैब को अपनी कहानी कहनी है. और यहीं से जुनैब अपनी कहानी कहना शुरू करती है. यहीं से अंकुर फूट-ते हैं 'बोल' के. इसके आगे क्या होता है यह जान-ने के लिए आपको सिनेमा हॉल तक जाने का कष्ट करना hoga !!

फिल्म कि भाषा और शैली काफी हद तक 'खुदा के लिए' से मिलती जुलती है. पर कुछ हिस्सों में फिल्म में उतना असर नहीं दीखता है जितना के 'खुदा के लिए' में था. कहानी बहुत मज़बूत है पर कहावट में कहीं कहीं और काम कि ज़रुरत थी. कुछ दृश्य ऐसे भी हैं शायद जिनकी ज़रुरत नहीं थी. पर जब आप एक फिल्म को सम्पूर्णता में देखते हैं तोह ऐसी छोटी मोटी चीज़ें दरकिनार कर दी जा सकती है. "हुमैमा मलिक", मंज़र सहबाई, अम्र कशिमिरी, इमान अली और आतिफ असलम कि तारीफ़ करनी होगी जिनके दमदार अभिनय ने इस फिल्म को नयी उंचाई दी है. आप खुद ही सोचिये कि पांच-पांच अंतर-राष्ट्रीय पुरस्कार पाने वाली फिल्म में कुछ तोह ऐसा होगा ही जो देखने वाले के माथे पर सलवट का गहना पहना दे. उसे सोचने पर मजबूर कर दे कि ज़िन्दगी कब तक एक ही ढर्रे पर ढोयेंगे. अब वक़्त बदलाव का है. समझ नहीं आता के इस तरह कि फिल्में और क्यूँ नहीं बनती. अगर आप दबंग, सिंघम, रेडी माय नामे इज खान और बॉडीगार्ड जैसी मसाला फिल्मों पर रुपये खर्च करते हैं तो कृपया ऐसी फिल्मों पर भी ध्यान दीजिये. बहुत ही सुन्दर फिल्म बनायी है शोएब मंसूर ने. अंत ज़रा सा नाटकीय लग सकता है पर फिर भी एक बार फिर तहे दिल से उनकी तारीफ़ कीजिये. आप निराश नहीं होंगे.

रेटिंग - ३*/५*

Monday, September 19, 2011

A Legend Called Kamaal Rashid Khan...



Those who are on twitter knows how much I hate KRK and how much I abuse him on a daily basis. But, last night I thought of jotting down few things for him thinking that I'm his Friend + Critic + PR manager. So here I go people. Interested ones, read on. Fucktards should leave immediately!


Kamaal R Khan is one of the most popular person on twitter. He loves to entertain his followers. To do so he hasn’t hired any PR machinery. But he solely relies on his dry humour and rustic English to invoke laughter. He comes across as a simple human being minus any starry airs. He doesn’t give a damn about what others think about him. He is politically incorrect and doesn’t mind calling a spade a spade. One such example is his famous jibes at Poonam Pandey’s figures. The much-talked and re-tweeted tweets are his good morning and good night kisses to Asin or any “Man of That Particular Day”.
The most impressive thing about him is his knowledge about the latest affairs of the country. His takes on them are hugely entertaining. For example, When the Indian Cricket Team was losing the matches against England on their home turf recently, he tweeted to suggest to inspire our team to win, maybe Katrina Kaif should declare to promise to kiss our players and that would give them much needed boost to win the remaining games. His way of thinking is totally different. Many of his followers get irritated and start abusing him because they find his tweets bordering on schizophrenia. He doesn’t care about those who oppose his way of tweeting or show the slightest disagreement with his way of thinking. Without wasting a minute he blocks such followers. After doing so he proudly declares on twitter that he “crapeblocked” so and so follower.
This is surprising given the fact that his colleagues hanker after the followers and every now and then declare proudly the latest numbers of their followers. On the other hand here’s Kamaal R Khan who declares proudly the latest numbers of followers he has “crapeblocked”. He loves to coin his own words, thus refusing to allow his limited vocabulary to come in the way of what he wants to communicate. This clearly shows he is a go-getter and doesn’t allow anything to bog him down. Sample this : he calls those who abuse him and his tweets #2RSPeople. When asked what he means by #2RSPeople, he explained in his signature style the meaning of #2RSPeople as “Do Kauri Ke Log”. This newly-minted phrase was recently used in one of Chamtakari Baba’s tweets showing even a satirist like Chamtakari Baba too is in awe of Kamaal R Khan.
He wants to create controversies. He doesn’t care whether you like him or not, whether you want to support him or not. His juggernaut continues to roll. He is someone who won’t change just because he wants people to like him. His refusal to change is what makes him a winner. Moreover, he is a lion-hearted man who doesn’t bet an eyelid before tweeting about the touchy issues like the recent Sadbhavana Mission undertaken by the Gujarat CM Mr Modi. He is not scared of getting misunderstood or getting quoted out of context. He is above all these so-called (petty) sophisticated spins. There are people who eagerly wait for his tweets because he sets the twitter timeline ablaze with laughter. He is a man who knows how to flirt with danger and play with fire. He also knows how to dodge those flames that arise once the fire is lit. Those so-called mass leaders or politically correct celebrities can take a leaf or two out of his book. But it’s ever unlikely to happen as they have a lot at stake and plenty to lose if something gets “quoted out of context” whereas Kamaal R Khan has nothing to lose as he has very little at stake.
The heart goes out to this charismatic and dashing Kamaal R Khan for proving who the real boss is when it comes to pure entertainment on twitter. He has his trademark word 'shall' and "tho" [toh]. He may block you. But if you promise to behave yourself, he may unblock you. His mercurial temper lasts for a few seconds. Once it cools down, he can be the first to kiss and make up. His most endearing human side came to fore recently when the people were cracking jokes about Azhar and his son’s death following the bike accident, he blocked them saying he didn’t appreciate those indulging in such insensitivities. No wonder the legend of Kamaal R Khan keeps growing and equally surprising is twitter’s refusal to verify his account. That’s Kamaal R Khan for you….!

Saturday, September 17, 2011

A nazm by Gulzar saahab

मैं भी उस हॉल में बैठा था
जहां परदे पर इक फ़िल्म के किरदार
ज़िंदा जावेद नज़र आते थे
उनकी हर बात बड़ी, सोच बड़ी, कर्म बड़े
उनका हर एक अमल
एक तस्लीम थी, सब देखने वालों के लिये
मैं अदाकार था उसमें
तुम अदाकारा थीं
अपने महबूब का जब हाथ पकड़ कर तुमने
ज़िंदगी एक नज़र में भर के
उसके सीने पर बस एक आंसू से लिख कर दे दी थी
कितने सच्चे थे वो किरदार
जो परदे पर थे

कितने फ़र्ज़ी थे वो दो, हॉल में बैठे साए

A nazm by Gulzar saahab

मैं भी उस हॉल में बैठा था
जहां परदे पर इक फ़िल्म के किरदार
ज़िंदा जावेद नज़र आते थे
उनकी हर बात बड़ी, सोच बड़ी, कर्म बड़े
उनका हर एक अमल
एक तस्लीम थी, सब देखने वालों के लिये
मैं अदाकार था उसमें
तुम अदाकारा थीं
अपने महबूब का जब हाथ पकड़ कर तुमने
ज़िंदगी एक नज़र में भर के
उसके सीने पर बस एक आंसू से लिख कर दे दी थी
कितने सच्चे थे वो किरदार
जो परदे पर थे

कितने फ़र्ज़ी थे वो दो, हॉल में बैठे साए

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

स्कूल चलें हम...

आज हिंदी दिवस है. समस्त भारत वासियों को हिंदी दिवस के मौके पर ढेरों बधाई. जब हम दिवाली, ईद को मनाते हैं तो हिंदी दिवस क्यूँ पीछे रहे भाई? हिंदी दिवस पर मैं चाह रहा हूँ के पोस्ट हिंदी में लिखूं, हमारी राष्ट्रभाषा को समर्पित करते हुए... कुछ "कूल डूड" और "हॉट बेब्स" जैसे लोगों को मैं जानता हूँ जो हिंदी देख कर नाक भौं सिकोड़ लेते हैं हिंदी देखते ही. ऐसे लोगों को मैं 'लिब्रलाइज़ेशन की पैदाइश' कहना ज्यादा बेहतर समझता हूँ. माफ़ कीजियेगा अगर कहीं पर मात्रा की गलती हो जाए तो. मुझे गर्व हैं भारतीय होने पर और हिंदी बोलने पर. फख्र होता है जब कोई मेरे हिंदी भाषा के ज्ञान पर जलता है !!

मैं आपके सामने एक बहुत ही सरल बात रखना चाहता हूँ. एक बक्सा है, जिसमें एक अनमोल चीज़ रखी हुई है, पर इस बक्से पर ताला लगा हुआ है. यह कोई आम बक्सा नहीं है. ये बक्सा है हमारा शरीर. इस बक्से के बाहर क्या है, मैं इसकी बात नहीं कर रहा हूँ. बल्कि मैं उसकी बात करना चाहता हूँ जो अन्दर रखी हुई है. यह बक्सा प्रकृति के नियमों में बंधा हुआ है. एक दिन यह बक्सा बना और एक दिन यह नहीं रहेगा. लेकिन जब तक यह बक्सा है, तब तक इसके अन्दर रखी हुई चीज़ भी उपलब्ध है. पर सवाल यह है की वोह चीज़ है क्या?

आज तक हम सब येही सोचते रहे है की इस बक्से के बाहर क्या है? पर किसी ने यह कोशिश नहीं की के जान सकें की इस बक्से के अन्दर क्या है? सब इसी उधेड़बुन में लगे रहते हैं की इस बक्से को कहाँ रखना चाहिए और कहाँ नहीं रखना चाहिए. के किस प्रकार इस बक्से को सजाया जाए और किस तरह इस बक्से की सुरक्षा की जाए. आज इस दुनिया में जो कुछ भी हो रहा है वोह इस बक्से के कारण हो रहा है. अगर यह बक्सा ना होता तोह बड़े बड़े कानून ना बनते और ना ही बड़े बड़े देश. अगर यह बक्सा ना होता तोह कोई अमीर ना होता कोई गरीब ना होता. पर है तोह सही एक बक्सा. और यह एक ऐसा बक्सा है जिस पर ताला लगा हुआ है. इस वजह से लोग इसके बारे में सिर्फ और सिर्फ अंदाजा लगाते हैं. वे सिर्फ और सिर्फ अपना जीवन ये सोचने में बीता देते हैं की 'इस बक्से के भीतर आखिर होगा क्या? ... पर कोई कोशिश नहीं करता इस ताले को खोलने की. कोई सोच के समुन्दर में डूबकी लगा कर यहाँ तक सोच लेता है के शायद इस बक्से के भीतर कोई हीरा जवाहरात होगा. कोई खजाना होगा. और कोई आलसी किस्म का यह सोच लेता है के इसके अन्दर 'कुछ नहीं है'.

और कुछ ऐसे भी हैं जिन्होंने असफल ही सही, पर एक कोशिश तोह की इसे खोलने की. उन लोगों ने इस बक्से के सामने हाथ जोड़े. मालाएं पहनाई इस बक्से को. प्रार्थनाएं की इस बक्से के सामने. कुछ तो ऐसे भी हैं जो चाबियों के बड़े बड़े गुच्छे लाकर बोलते हैं 'इनमें से एक ना एक चाबी तो उस ताले को खोल ही देगी'. ऐसे लोगों से मुझे कोई तकलीफ नहीं. चलो और कुछ नहीं तो एक कोशिश तोह की इन्होने. और कुछ लोग होते हैं, जिन्होंने अपने आज तक के जीवन कभी ना कभी, किसी ना किसी मोड़ पर 'शून्य' का आभास किया है. वे ऐसे लोग हैं जो चिन्तन मनन करते हैं. जिनकी सोच बहुत दूर तलक जाती है इस बक्से के सन्दर्भ में. और उन्होंने इसका सही जवाब ढूँढा है की यह ताला है 'अज्ञानता' का, ऐसा वे सोचते हैं. मैं उनकी बात से पूर्णतः सहमत हूँ.

हमारे देश में हाल ही में श्री अन्ना हजारे जी ने भ्रष्टाचार के खिलाफ एक मुहीम छेड़ रखी है. हर साल सरकार अपने बजट में प्रावधान करती है गरीबी से लड़ने के. लोगों को साफ़ सुथरी ज़िन्दगी मुहैय्या हो इसके सन्दर्भ में. देश के पिछड़े वर्ग को अच्छी नौकरी मिले इसके सन्दर्भ में. वगैरह वगैरह... पर क्या किसी ने कभी ये सोचा के इतना सब करने के बावजूद हमारा देश आज ६४ सालों बाद भी रेंगने को ही क्यूँ मजबूर है? वे गोरे क्या वाकई पहली दुनिया में रहते हैं? क्या वे हमसे ज्यादा समझदार हैं? क्या वे हमसे ज्यादा दुनिया को समझते हैं? जवाब है - नहीं. फर्क सिर्फ इतना है की वे शिक्षित हैं और हम अशिक्षित.

मेरा एक नीजी तौर पर मानना है की इस देश की सभी समस्याओं का हल पढाई में छिपा है
. आप कोई भी समस्या कहें मैं उसे देश के अशिक्षित होने से जोड़ कर दिखा सकता हूँ. मेरा मानना है की इस देश में सब कुछ है. पर इसे समझने वालों की एक जमात चाहिए. अगर एक व्यक्ति शिक्षित है और चीज़ों को समझने की शक्ति है उसमें, जो की पढने से ही अर्जित की जा सकती है, तो वोह इस देश की कायापलट में एक अहम भूमिका निभा सकता है.

मिसाल के तौर पर, एक शिक्षित व्यक्ति कभी भी रिश्वत नहीं देगा. इसे हम सम्पूर्णता में देखते हैं. मान लीजिये इस देश का हर व्यक्ति शिक्षित है. फिर वोह चाहे किसान ही क्यूँ ना हो. वोह इंसान कभी भी सरकारी कार्यालय में रिश्वत नहीं देगा. आज की तारीख में सरकारी अधिकारी ये सोचता है की उसका वेतन कम है, महंगाई अपने परम चरम पर है और सरकारी पगार से उसका घर नहीं चल सकता और उसका मानना होता है की अगर किसी से १०० रुपये ले लिए तो क्या बुरा हुआ, उसका काम भी हो गया और अधिकारी को कुछ आर्थिक सहायता भी हो गयी. अब इसकी विपरीत परिस्थिति देखते हैं जहां देश का हर व्यक्ति शिक्षित है. वोह कभी भी ना तो रिश्वत देगा और ना ही लेगा. क्यूंकि वोह जानता है आज नहीं तोह कल ये पैसा देश के काल धन में शामिल हो जाए और कहीं ना कहीं जा कर इसकी चोट उसे भी लगेगी.

एक और मिसाल लेते हैं. हमारे देश में सभी जानते हैं के १२५ करोड़ की आबादी में से सिर्फ २% लोग ही कर अदा करते हैं. और ये केवल वे २% लोग हैं जो नौकरी पेशा हैं. उनके पास अब कोई चारा नहीं है इन्कम टैक्स से बचने का. बाकी बचे हमारे देश के धंधे से जुड़े लोग. उनका मानना है के जब बाकी टैक्स नहीं भरते तो वे क्यूँ भरे. और इसका दूसरा कारण टैक्स रेट का काफी बाधा हुआ होना है. इंसान सोचता है के अगर वोह टैक्स ही भर देगा तो खायेगा क्या? अब स्थिति को पलट कर देखिये. अगर हमारे देश का हर व्यक्ति इमानदारी से टैक्स भरे तो? टैक्स रेट जो फिलहाल ३०% है, वोह गिर कर २% तक आ सकती है, अगर हर व्यक्ति टैक्स भरे तोह. आज हमें लगता है ना की हम टैक्स क्यूँ भरे हमारी कमाई पर. और मेरा खुद का मानना है की कोई भी इंसान नहीं चाहेगा की उसके मुश्किलों से कमाए हुए पैसों पर कोई कर लगे. पर हमें यह भी सोचना चाहिए के हम एक देश के नागरिक हैं. ये देश ही हमारा घर है. हम सरकार को गाली देने से बाज़ नहीं आते अगर कहीं पर एक गड्ढा मिल जाए तोह. पर क्या कभी ये सोचते हैं की हम कौन सा इमानदारी बरतते हैं. अगर हम ही आनाकानी करेंगे तोह ये देश कैसे चलेगा. हम क्या अपने घरों में सिर्फ अपने अपने कमरों की ही देखभाल करते हैं? नहीं. तोह हमें भी अपनी सोच विकसित करने की ज़रूरत है.

एक और वाक्या मेरे जेहन में आ रहा है इस वक़्त. मैं जहां रहता हूँ उसके ठीक सामने जुलाई के महीने में महानगर पालिका वालों ने रोड की मरम्मत का काम किया था. और केवल इक महीने की बरसात में ही इस सड़क का ये हाल है की मानो कभी बनी ही नहीं थी. लोग आते जाते महानगर पालिका को गाली देते हैं. पर क्या कभी किसी के मन में ये ख़याल आया के वो जाकर उस अधिकारी को जवाब तलब करे जिसके निर्देशन के तहत इस सड़क का काम हुआ था? नहीं. अगर सरकार हरामखोर है, तोह कहीं ना कहीं हम भी कमीने हैं. और ये इसलिए है की हमें ये नहीं पता के हमारे अधिकार क्या है? और हमारी देश के प्रति जिम्मेदारी क्या है? अब कौन इस चिलचिलाती धुप में पालिका के चक्कर काटे भैय्या! यहाँ ज़रुरत आती है शिक्षा की. ज़रुरत है शिक्षित होने की, समाझ को शिक्षित करने की, और बदलाव लाने की. और ये तभी हो सकता है जब पढ़े लिखे लोग कुछ कोशिश करें. आप और मैं कुछ कोशिश करें.

आओ प्रात्मिक शिक्षा को सबका हक बनाएं हम. पढ़ा लिखा होना और शिक्षित होने में ज़मीन आसमान का फर्क है. हमें ज़रूरत है शिक्षित समाज की ना की पढ़े लिखे समाज की. हम पढ़ लिख कर दर्द को भांप तो सकते हैं. पर अगर श्क्षित नहीं हुए तो उसे बांट नहीं सकते.

चलिए वैसे भी कोई मेरे पोस्ट पढता तो है नहीं, और जो एक आध पढ़ते हैं वो अब मुझे गाली देंगे की इतना लम्बा चौड़ा लिखा दिया. आशा करता हूँ की जो मैं कहना चाहता था वोह मैं कह गया. शायद अब पढने वालों को यह समझ गया होगा की मैं ऊपर 'बक्से' पर इतनी बकचोदी क्यूँ कर रहा था !! सभी को बहुत सारा प्यार.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Abraham Lincoln’s letter to his son’s Head Master

Respected Teacher,

My son will have to learn I know that all men are not just, all men are not true. But teach him also that for ever scoundrel there is a hero; that for every selfish politician, there is a dedicated leader. Teach him that for every enemy there is a friend.

It will take time, I know; but teach him, if you can, that a dollar earned is far more valuable than five found.

Teach him to learn to lose and also to enjoy winning.

Steer him away from envy, if you can.

Teach him the secret of quite laughter. Let him learn early that the bullies are the easiest to tick.

Teach him, if you can, the wonder of books.. but also give him quiet time to ponder over the eternal mystery of birds in the sky, bees in the sun, and flowers on a green hill –side.

In school teach him it is far more honourable to fail than to cheat.

Teach him to have faith in his own ideas, even if every one tells him they are wrong.

Teach him to be gentle with gentle people and tough with the tough.

Try to give my son the strength not to follow the crowd when every one is getting on the bandwagon.

Teach him to listen to all men but teach him also to filter all he hears on a screen of truth and take only the good that comes through.

Teach him, if you can, how to laugh when he is sad. Teach him there is no shame in tears. Teach him to scoff at cynics and to beware of too much sweetness.

Teach him to sell his brawn and brain to the highest bidders; but never to put a price tag on his heart and soul.

Teach him to close his ears to a howling mob… and to stand and fight if he thinks he’s right.

Treat him gently; but do not cuddle him because only the test of fire makes fine steel.

Let him have the courage to be impatient, let him have the patience to be brave. Teach him always to have sublime faith in himself because then he will always have sublime faith in mankind.

This is a big order; but see what you can do. He is such a fine little fellow, my son.


Abraham Lincoln.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Review of Bodyguard

Before starting my review of Bodyguard, let me be very true to myself. I happened to watch this movie 'chalte-chalte'. I'm not et al a fan of Salman Khan. Rather I believe that 'stars' like Salman, Emran, Imran, etc. can never be an actor even if they bake their bread in B Town for 100 coming years. But growing up watching Salman for over a decade, I believe Bodyguard is his best performance after Mr. aur Ms. Khanna. Don't know why, but I found Salman very cute in his portrayal of 'ehsaanon ke bojh taley dabaa insaan' aka Bodyguard Lovely Singh.

The story of the movie is a smoothie till the last 20 minutes. Don't know why did the writer-director Siddique twisted it in the end. And for the actions stunts, S. Vijayan has choreographed the action of this film too. Relation of Salman and Vijayan dates back to the days of Wanted and Dabangg. But in this serve, the scenes looked laboured. There is this fresh joke in the market which says that, 'Salman is Rajinikanth of North!'. And to be very true, he is. He defies all the logics just like what Rajini does. In a flash of second he can do anything. And the entry action stunts of Salman are purely Computer Generated. One can easily sense that they've used the modern-day techniques. Even the background of same appears to be wonder of post-production. This is something which is becoming the current rage in B Town. Personally speaking, I'm against the use of such tactics as it takes away the beauty of the frame and everything seems to be so dull.

In fact, the film’s action choreographer even borrows from Dabangg’s climax in which the wind ripped the shirt off the tall, strapping villain (Sonu Sood) and then tore the shirt off Chulbul Pandey (Salman) to drive home the point that the comparatively gigantic bad guy was no match for our heroic little package of dynamite. Witness the final fight in Bodyguard with a similar sequence of events but half the impact. What Salman needs are more ingenious fight directors and writers who could give him more Salman-esque lines such as Wanted’s “Ek baar jo maine commitment ki, toh main khud ki bhi nahin sunta”. In Dabangg he said, "arey ... Ji...se yaad aaya". And now in Bodyguard he says, 'Mujhpe ek ehsaan karna ke mujhpe koi ehsaan mat karna'. Without any of these ingredients, Bodyguard ends up as a sort-of-entertaining film with an enjoyable-even-if-mindless first half, good-looking lead players and several clichés; a film that appears to take committed fans terribly for granted

Kareena looked pretty. Hazel Keech seems to be the latest muse of Salman. And talking about Rajat Rawail [Tsunami], I can't understand why the hell fatsos are shown as a piece of laughter. I'm myself obese. Even mostly all the top corporate honchos are obese but they never in such a non-sensical way. Does the “masala” tag give writers and directors the right to be irresponsible and insensitive? So okay, some jokes about disabilities (however offensive) have to be accepted in the interests of realism, because they reflect the street language of our country. But while the world debates the correctness and acceptability of terms such as midget / dwarf / vertically challenged person / person of slight stature / little people, here in India, in a scene in Bodyguard Lovely Singh blithely refers to Divya’s small-sized classmate as a “handbag” to be contrasted with a “suitcase”! Oh wait, I’m not allowed to have such objections to a “masala” film, right Bollywood?!

Unlike the heroines of many of Salman’s recent films, in Bodyguard Kareena is not treated merely as a glamorous appendage to the hero’s antics. She has a substantial part to play in the film. But neither Salman’s charisma, nor Kareena’s acting and eye-catching kurtas can compensate for Bodyguard’s overall dullness. The music is not particularly memorable, despite the sweet-but-that’s-about-it title track composed by Himesh Reshammiya and Pritam’s I love you which is well sung and melodic though generic. The most melodious and well picturised track is Teri Meri. But mostly all the tracks are unwanted. In the language of a critic, they are included to provide you a loo break! Katrina Kaif’s minuscule appearance in one number doesn’t serve any purpose. And I think Salman must come out of camp things. I'm personally fed up of watching Mahesh Manjrekar in mostly all his films. Mahesh, you are wasting your talent, if I'm allowed to say this.

CBFC Rating- U/A
Run Time- 130 minutes [if I exactly remember]
My Rating- 1.5*/5* [would have been 2* but for that needlessly twisted climax]

P.S. My favourite moment in Bodyguard is when Tsunami reads “private number” as “Parvati Nambiar”. Now why couldn’t we have had more of that in the film? :P

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Review of That Girl In Yellow Boots [TGIYB]

After NALS, TGIYB is once again a kind of movie which will leave you awe-struck at the end. TGIYB is a kind of movie in which actors don't chase camera, rather camera chases actors. Personally speaking, till date I've not seen such a shocking story. It's very gutsy film with it's very nature. Lots of film-makers promote their movies saying it's something 'hattke' but when you watch it, you come out with the feeling of being cheated. But with TGIYB, it's not the case for sure. It takes a lot to make this genre of cinema with minimal of budget.

For Anurag Kashyap, I'm sure, it would have been very difficult to picturise his very own wife giving handjobs to other men. I remember when Ajay Devgn directed U, Me aur Hum, he was very insecure when the script demanded him to be shown having physical relationship with Kajol. In this light, Anurag Kashyap has shown lots of guts to break all the barriers of orthodox cinema making and has shown his wife in few of the steamy scenes. And let me be very frank here, the sex-scenes in TGIYB are not typical Emraan Hashmi kind of scenes which are otherwise full of lust and greed, but are very well emotion driven. While watching TGIYB and Kalki Koechlin's performance in it, one readily accepts that working in spa as a masseur can well be one's profession. But at the very same time, Anurag succeeded in pouring up the emotions into it. The very fact is that giving handjobs to men is not what any dignified girl would ever dream in her wildest fantasy. But, as I said earlier, TGIYB breaks all the orthodox thinking of contemporary film-making. One can feel the pain Ruth might me going through while doing all these shit thing.

As far as the story of TGIYB is concerned, it is very shallow. In the sense that, we are shown that there is this British girl called Ruth who is on a visit to India for a mission. And the mission is to find her Half Brit Half Indian father. But every frame of the movie is so engaging that you tend to sideline the story. You just want the movie to continue the way it is going. The main character in this film is only Kalki Koechlin. But the inclusion of actors like Piyush Mishra, Mushtaq Khan, Naseeruddin Shah, Ronit Roy, Rajat Kapoor and Makrand Deshpandey makes you feel that 'now something extra-ordinary will happen' but sadly it doesn't. The actual and only twist of the movie come only in the end and it makes you go mad. You'll feel like "how can one guy be so pathetic". That, how can the definition of 'love' for someone be so dark.

I've travelled through lots of streets and lanes of Mumbai personally. But I never paid attention to what might be the 'secret' of those road/lane. Anurag seems to have well 'explored' this city! This is where Anurag excels at i.e. he pays damn attention to the fine detailing in every part of his film. For e.g. portraying the character of that Spa receptionist who talks over the phone in the entire movie to her FB friend.
This is not a Mumbai of glamour and glitz, nor is it about slime, grime, the basest elements in the underworld or extreme poverty. This is Semi-Middle Mumbai, where the builder who wants a “handshake” from Ruth is embarrassed at the demands he’s making, where Ruth likes to keep her floor spotlessly clean but can do nothing about those filthy walls. With the help of Rajeev Ravi’s atmospheric cinematography and Wasiq Khan’s production design, director Anurag Kashyap brings to us this disturbing Mumbai and his hemmed-in characters in a way only he can, with his distinctive sense of humour, in a style that’s as real and natural as it gets. Ruth is a particularly interesting creature – despite the abuse she is subjected to, she still manages to retain a certain feisty sense of independence that is almost inspiring. I particularly enjoyed hearing her dip into her constantly expanding Hindi vocabulary to tell a cheating autorickshaw driver: main firangan hoon isliye mujhe ch****a banane ki koshish mat karna.

Anurag has his very own kind of cinema to serve. He is somebody who always has one or the other character playing Drug Abused in his every film. This may be because he himself was a Drug Abused at one point of time. In Shaitain he portrayed what can be the Shaitaniyat one experiences being a drug addict and in TGIYB, I guess, he has shown his personal experiences [I'm pointing towards the scene in which Prashant locks himself up to get rid of drugs]. And talking about Gulshan Deviah, man! what a class actor we've been presented with by Anurag. He is such a darling when he portrays Chitti-Appa !! He brings out a classic cynical type of humour. The 'remote' scene and the scene where Chitti-Appa becomes CHUTIYAPPA are one of the main highlights of this movie! All in all, it's typical Anurag Kashyap-ish type of cinema which will leave you speech-less and shocked in the end. The music of the movie is also something that stands out with just one song which plays in the BG. The use of Bagpiper and Iktara provided lots of subtlety to the backdrop of the film. It's a cult film. You won't find such a film coming out of Hindi Film Industry for the years to come. I was personally very happy to see NFDC producing such a daring film. I guess NFDC stopped working in the 90s and 00s.

Three of the best scenes of TGIYB would be-
1st- The confrontation scene between Ruth and Prashant.
2nd- The emotional outburst of Ruth when she comes to know about who her father is.
3rd- The end scene between Ruth and her father.


CBFC Rating- A [don't know why they rated it Adults, may be coz of those handjob scenes, otherwise it's very emotional film]

Rating- 5*/5* [coz I don't find a single problem with this milestone piece of cinema].

P.S. Beware! It won't go down well with every other cinema goer. It's a request to all those brainy people, please watch it for Anurag. !00rs. toh bante hain boss Anurag ke naam pe !!

Thursday, September 1, 2011

The making of an Epic 90s' movie

Scene 1:

The great bollywoodian college, the Royal hatchery of all romantic adventures, drama embedded with sad Kumar shanu songs, skirmishes with a dash of karate and hockey sticks, dollops of deceit or "dhokhaa" courtesy "The Sadashiv amrapurkar-Tinu anand" school of thought and a 24x7 Canteen with brittle tables and chairs, this is what sums up a kick ass early nineties' movie.
So here's the star cast template (note the alternatives as well)

The college dude, Our hero, Vijay...( Ajay devgan/ Govinda)

The nakhre waali ladki, Tina ( Raveena tandon / Aayesha julka / Karishma kapoor)
The spoilt brat, wears tight leaher pants and owns a jeep, Vicky (Mohneesh behl / Aaditya pancholi) note: At least 10 colg girls have fallen prey to his 'zism ki bhookh'.
Bad boy's papa, with more political "links" than a wikipedia page, MLA Jorawar singh (Sadashiv Amrapurkar)

The shrewd Business man, the crafty hotelier and the jigree dost of Jorawar singh, Singhania- which is apparently his first name- ( Tinu Anand)

The man who never smiles, the tense Papaji of the heroine, and also Signahinya's employee, JeewanLaal (Kulbhushan Kharbanda). Honest to the bone.

Hero's khuddar papa, feel sorry for him he's crippled and unemployed, boohoo - Baa(b)uji (Suresh Oberai)

And lot of other quintessential actors like, Mcmahon, Atul agnihotri, shakti kapoor, jagdeep, tiku talsania, Tom alter , Brownie etc.
The first frame of the movie is an aerial shot of the deemed college located somewhere in aamchi Mumbai. Vijay (ajay devgan) is one not so bright student of the colg. His mark sheet resembles a sanitary napkin, (yep red) and answer sheets your blog's comments page, but then geeks never have scored anything with the pretty girls of the college, so there. The film-history is replete with accounts of geeky nerds, who have been completing colg damsel's notes for ages to no avail. They get nothing but for a cheeky "Thanks Ramesh! main tumhara ehsaan nahin bhula sakti " and then she rushes to the garden Coohie-cooing with the college hunk.

The eligibility criteria for a desi college hero of the 90s':-
1) He should have at least 2 kg of hair mass over his head.
2) He should have at least 2 pairs of air tight jeans and "Action ke sports shoes".
3) He should be deep in debt to the college canteen.
4) He should have a "Dukhiyaaree maa" and an "unwed behen"(sister) (who will be raped/killed/maligned at a later time by the anti-hero elements)

In addition to these he rears a battery of sidekicks consisting of failed actors, TV stars, and erstwhile child artists. These personnel give him company in the canteen, encourage him to woo the heroine, assemble at the back of the hero and synchronize their dancing steps whenever a tune is played in the background. These guys come in all kinds of shapes and sizes and infest on the canteen balance of Vijay.

Now one fine day as these guys were idling around in the college corridor brooding over kimi kaatkar's sex appeal, Johny(a random sidekick) exclaimed "Kasam paida karne waale ki kyaa item hai, abey yaaro wo dekho, hoor ki paree aa rahee hai….aaye haaye kyaa latke jhatke hain..*sighhh*" // note the cornyness of the dialogue

Eye balls of the group, virtually pop out. The bespectacled fatso's thick lenses get frosted. There she is, at the far end of the corridor briskly cat walking, our girl of the movie, the desi damsel 'causing' distress. The camera is fixed at her posterior as she walks in slow motion. The students lining the corridor are gasping. She is wearing a black shimmering outfit, Needle sharp high heels and black translucent stockings. The amount of lipstick on her lips is sufficient to manufacture a pack of candles and the ear rings are as large as handcuffs. Even the professors are readjusting their glasses to have a good look.

As she nears the esteemed pack, vijay rolls up his sleeve, hand combs his hair, makes a shashi kapoor face and stares at her. The sidekicks are holding their breath. The moment has come.She arrives and throws a glance at vijay. "Huhhh!!" she curses loaded with a ton of snobbery. Meet Tina ( Raveena tandon). A typical "maghroor" ladki as Vijay proclaims. There are limited words in her dictionary for boys - "You isshhtupid chhodo mera haath!!", "You bloody idiaattt", "Shut up Youuu". Ahh the perverts love that.


"Iss ladki kaa guroor todnaa padega!!" vows Vijay.

The seed is planted. :)

To be continued…..

Sunday, August 28, 2011

My Take On Second Freedom Struggle...

Anna Hazare and his fast unto death was the burning issue for the past two weeks. Lots of things was said and done. People were coming out of their houses to support Anna. Rallies were organised. People started wearing caps with the words 'Me Anna Aahe' written over it. Lots of files were shared through e-mails and on social platforms like FB and Twitter. Many a times I too made a comment or two on various things. And many a times I was questioned as to do I actually know what is Lokpal Bill and JLB?

I refrained myself from answering that. To be very frank I don't even have bare minimum knowledge as to what is LB and JLB and what is the difference between the two. But, on the other hand it is also true that I'm supporting Anna. One may ask why? The reason is very short and simple. A 74 year old retired armyman, who doesn't owns anything, who has donated all his years long earning, who doesn't has any family of his own, who gets pension from Army but donates that too, is standing for us. For our rights. What he'll earn by doing this? Nothing! He is doing it for our sake. For the very fact that it'll benefit the generations to come. And if that 74 year old guy can go on fast, why shouldn't I support him.

I won't buy the argument that it's of no use as it can't take away the corruption by 100%. For, I feel that if India becomes 100% corruption free, the entire Govt. machinery will break down like anything, keeping in mind the Size of this country [both landmass and the population]. Also, it won't make India corruption free over the fortnight. But still, if it helps to curtail the hands of this demon by, say, 3%, it'll add a lot to India's growth process.

Rajeev Gandhi once commented during the 80s that if 100 rupees comes out of Govt. treasury, only 17 rupees reaches the AAM AADMI. Rahul Gandhi further modified this statement in the early 21st century that if 100 rupees comes out of Govt. treasury, only 3 rupees reaches the Aam Aadmi. The rest 83 rupees in the former case and 97 rupees in the latter one is lost in corruption. This means that, currently, whatever development we are seeing around us, is the outcome of this 3 rupees. Suppose, if corruption goes down by 3% then, 6 rupees will reach the stupid common man. This will 'double-up' the development speed. And APJ Kalam ji once said that India will be a Developed Nation by 2020. If development process doubles up, can't this target be achieved by 2015? It can certainly be, if the top notch people of this country curbs their hunger for money by mere 3%. Okay you are taking the 97%, we're just asking you to give up 3%. Still they will be having 94% with them only. And looking at the % thing, 3 standing against 94 will still be a negligible figure.

But this doesn't seems possible. Here one may call me pessimist, but to be true to what I've seen in the past 19 years of my physical existence, I don't find any home coming. There was this very under-rated film of Mr. Amitabh Bachchan called Teen Patti. One dialogue from this movie which touched me deep was- "Paisa Kya Hai? Paisa Ek Number Nahin Hai. Paisa Ek Bhookh Hai. Bhookh..." The way BigB said 'Bhookh' was really soul-stirring.

The best e.g. of corruption is visible just next to my door. The roads here were built by KDMC in June 2011. It's August end now. And if somebody travels around this area, he/she will definitely agree with me when I say that it gives you the pleasure of 'Camel Ride' [all puns intended for this compliment to KDMC]. This is a basic yet a cruel face of corruption. If the Govt. is Haraamkhor, for it doesn't carries out the work properly, we people are equivalently Kaminey, for not raising our voice against it.

P.S. I believe the major outcome of this movement was the fact that it made the Indian Youth vigilant. Vigilant as to what is actually happening in this country. That, how their 30% share of income is going down the drain. We, Indians, are basically under-dogs. We always need that little push from somebody. This movement gave that little push. Now we won't sleep anymore. We will rise. We won't crawl. We will walk. We will run. We will win. We will show 'them' that we're not the Third World anymore. No foreigner would henceforth be able to say that India has more cows on road than vehicles. Our silence should not be taken for granted. Our silence is not our in-ability. This Govt. will fail if it doesn't adheres to the promises it has made. Jai Hind !! :)

Friday, August 19, 2011

Review of Not A Love Story




It's not et al a bad story! It's a movie which will leave you mentally exhausted in the end. With “NOT A LOVE STORY” [NALS], RGV has once again raised his bar of film-making. Defining it, I would use the epithets like STUNNING, SHOCKING, SPINE-CHILLING and alike. It's not those one time watch movie. You just wish to get more and more out of the film. It’s one of those movies which is a complete package. Package of crime, violence, sex, passion, lust, intolerance, lack of perseverance and alike. And mind you, this is the genre for which RGV is best known for. This time RGV has assembled just the right kind of things he is known for. Classic actors [Deepak Dobriyal, Zakir Hussain and Mahie Gill], his favourite music director Sandeep Chowta and his best Cinamatographer i.e. himself.

Well the story of NALS is known to all. It's alleged [and it is] to be based on Neeraj Grover Murder Case. I won’t get into specifics. What makes NALS a milestone in Indian cinema is the very mature treatment it has received and the camera angles. I’ve followed RGV right from Rangeela till Rakth Charitra2. And what I’ve found is that he is one of those eccentric film-maker who works on his own terms. He is not someone who goes by what critics will say or what will be the fate of the movie at BO. And what I must also add is the fact that even in few of his worst project [like Go, Darna Zaroori Hai, Darna Manaa Hai, Road and Agyaat] there were always couple of things which makes him stand apart from his colleagues. The same goes for Sarkar Series, Satya and Company, though here they were evident from frame one.

NALS is not for weak hearts and for typical KJo fans. Mind you, you may vomit while watching this movie. It’s out and out made for real RGV fans. The dark theme of the movie, the fine detailing [like the constant ringing of RANGEELA as Anusha's ring tone signifying her dominant urge to be an actress], power-packed performances and spine-chilling visuals makes NALS a cult piece of cinema. I don’t think any of the earlier made film by any Indian film-maker had such huge amount of violence. Personally I haven't seen it. Watch it for it’s negative energy. Watch it for Deepak Dobriyal’s ‘performance’ [and not acting]. There are good actors. Then there are great actors. But then we’ve one more category. They are gifted actors. And Deepak Dobriyal is one of those greatly gifted actor. You can sense his "plight" from his eyes. And Mahie Gill. What can I say about this beauty with brains. She is at ease in every scene. Even in the scenes where she had to do lots of skin-show, she excelled. Even the others in the cast did a fine job. Prabhleen Sandhu looked cute. Zakir Hussain was once again at his subtle best. Ajay Gehi [remember the guy who played Uday Chopra in spoof movie called GHOOM] was effective too. Neil Bhoopalam and Darshan Jariwala did not had much of screen space though.
The background music is the main USP of this film. Like Bhoot, which would have been a disaster without it’s hair-raising background track, even NALS would not have had same impact. Check out this line written by a newcomer lyricist Vayu, Composed by Sandeep Chowta [one of my all time favourite] and Sung by Akriti Kakkar-
“Koi khud se bura nahin hota //
Pal toh kisi ka saga nahin hota.”


CBFC rating- A [and yes rightly rated, only adults]
Rating- 3.5*/5*
Why to watch it- to see RGV back in his true color after a while. And for Deepak Dobriyal.


P.S. I wish Ramu would have kept the original version of Rangeela in Asha Tai's voice but the remixed version too was fantastic. Sandeep Chowta rox!

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

My Review of Aarakshan

Aarakshan is a story of 20 reels. Hence for the ones who don’t have time, don’t you even think about it. Well, those who are expecting Aarakshan to be a brilliantly made film on the burning issue of “Reservation”, unfortunately it is not. More than being being based on reservation issue, Aarakshan tackles the issue of ‘commercialisation of education’. It’s actually a fight between my NK Sir and Mahesh Tutorials, if I’m allowed to put it this way. I can sense the vibes of NK Sir in the character of Dr. Prabhakar Anand [Amitabh Bachchan]. It’s a depiction of how corporates are entering a pure and noble profession like teaching and how they’re ruining it.

The story is again very simple without any thrilling twists and turns. There is this old guy named Prabhakar Anand who is a hard-core teacher [in the every sense of the word]. He believes that education can’t and shouldn’t be commercialised in any way. Also he doesn’t thinks that there is anything wrong in providing assistance to the students of backward class. And on the other hand we’ve Mithilesh Singh [Manoj Bajpayee as Anand’s bête noir] who is running a commercial coaching institute without the permission of the college where he teaches and Prabhakar Anand is the Principal of the same. Then there is Deepak Kumar [Saif Ali Khan] who is a Dalit student who is helped a lot by Prabhakar Anand ir-respective of he being from backward class. And we’ve Sushant [Prateik] who is a rich father’s only child who is from upper caste. Others include Purvi [Deepika Padukone as Prabhakar’s daughter], Kavita [Tanvi Azmi as Prabhakar’s wife], Yashpal Sharma [as the milk-man], Baburam Ji [Saurabh Shukla as Education Minister], Anirudh [Darshan Jariwala as STM trustee], Tiwari [Mukesh Tiwari as Inspector] and other typical Prakash Jha’s favourite and repeated cast.

We’ve a decision given by Supreme Court in which 27% reservation is granted to OBC. This creates rift between the backward students [Saif] and the ones from merit [Prateik]. This decision spoils many relations. One out of the context comment by Prabhakar makes him to lose his job, house, respect and alike. He decides to start a tution classes in a Tabela [yes you read it right, Tabela]. This leads to many students leaving the KK Coaching Centre [which is run by Mithilesh Singh] and join him as after all he ‘teaches’ from “heart” and that too for free and to everyone without any differences. Simple! This is the only over the top thing in the film’s story section!

Coming to the title of the movie, I can’t understand why did Mr. Jha thought Aarakshan would be an apt title for the movie. May-be just to garner some publicity I guess. There is no relevance of Aarakshan and reservation. Just that the commercialisation of education is the thing on target, reservation forms a back-drop for this movie to take-off. I loved the background music [by wayne Sharpe] of the starting credits. The very first scene of Saif giving interview on which all this hoopla is created by political parties is actually not a big deal. This scene was quite good and in my senses it had no nuisance as such on which all this drama is created. Rather it was much needed, according to me, in-order to maintain a balance between both the views towards reservation.

Talking about the film over-all, it’s good in few parts, very good in few, and pathetic in few as well. The songs were okayish. Didn’t found the touch of Prasoon Joshi as such. He could have written few gem of the lines given we all know his talent. And for music, Achchha Lagta Hai and Saans Albeli were quite good. But still there is no song in the movie which is worth re-calling once you leave the hall. The track Mauka could have been chopped totally.

Talking about acting, OMG! Amitabh Bachchan has risen above all the criteria you may ever set. I said the same thing while writing the review of BHTB as well and here too I will repeat myself saying that he is mind-blowing and beyond evaluation for a newbie writer like me !! He is above excellence. For Saif, he is learning fast, very fast. Deepika too did justice to her role. The huge disappointment in this cast is Prateik, who was the discovery of JTYJN. But in Aarakshan he appears spaced out beyond recognition, his dialogue delivery is laboured with that English accent and he seems strangely uninvolved in the role. And for others, well they too did good to their respective roles. Tanvi was good as an understanding wife. Missed Ayub Khan.

Mr. Jha has written quite a good dialogues this time. But the most pathetic one was when Pandit’s mother tells Prabhakar that ‘...warna ye suicide kar lega’. I laughed like anything and the rest 11 people [ya only 12 tickets were sold for the house of around 25o capacity] turned and looked at me. I don’t mind that !! I found it funny. Since the time I’ve seen Raajneeti I’ve always maintained that though the knife of Prakash Jha has became more shinier from Gangaajal to Raajneeti, but it has lost it’s sharpness. This is very much evident even in Aarakshan. The movie picks-up fantastically in the first half, but falls down ruthlessly towards the second half and especially in the end. A trend in all the Prakash Jha Production movies [including the ones that he only produced like Dil Dosti, etc and Turning 30].

The confrontation scenes are the real soul of this movie. The one where Saif and Manoj interacts after the former is appointed as junior lecturer and when Manoj tells Mr. Bachchan that ‘aap thay zero, hain zero aur rahenge bhi zero’ are the real soul of the movie for me. And the scene where Mr. Bachchan is shown to be helping Pandit by going beyond the logics was very poor according to me. It was like ‘ye thoda zyada ho gaya boss!’. It was a treat to watch Mr. Bachchan and Manoj ji together sharing screen space after a whole decade. They last appeared together in Aks [if my memory supports me]. Both of them are India’s two of the finest ‘actors’ ever. Though Manoj is in negative role, but still somehow you fall in love with his portrayal. Couple of Mr. Bachchan’s scene reminds you of Mohabbatein [2001]. I still can’t figure out whether he was really dressed well or he pulled off the dresses so elegantly. I’m a huge Bachchan fan. For me it has been a treat to watch my favourite actor in two of the greatest performances back to back [first in BHTB and now in Aarakshan]. The best part of BigB’s dressing was the fall of his Pants and Bandh-galaa’s. Thank God! I no more want to see him with that oxygen drip attached to his mouth and he lying on some hospital bed [KJo, are you listening honey?].

Also one of the highest point of the movie is we get to listen some great dialogues in genuine Hindi after quite a some time. Again Mr. Bachchan steals the show here. Wish other actors too had a bit more command on the language and more than that on the accent. Prakash Jha excels in crowd handling scenes. But the disappointing point was the use of technology in the climax to adjust with the crowd. It would have been better if the scenes of Mr. Bachchan + Manoj Bajpayee and crowds would have been filmed together instead of shooting them alone and then joining them together with the help of technology. The use of Vaishnav Jayathe in the background [or rather as Prabhakar’s theme music] was something very odd for me. My 100rs. Were recovered in just one scene by looking at the expression in BigB’s eyes just before the interval. It was classic! By the way, don’t you guys think BigB’s method as shown in the movie is impractical? Mr. Jha got confused between whether he is making a commercial cinema or a parallel one. This is what happens when corporate enter any damn noble profession. Even the role of Hema Malini was something too wary. Even editing too needed to be bit better. Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy disappointed after brilliant ZNMD.
Conclusion- Aarakshan tries to pack in too much into one film, beyond a point it lacks focus since it seems torn between reservations and the overall flaws in our education system, and somewhere past the halfway mark it just seems to go on and on and on [I said in the very beginning that in runs into 20 reels!]. This is a pity because where it’s good, Aarakshan is really good. If ever there was a balanced discussion on the issue of reservations, it is this. Dear protestors, for god’s sake this film is neither anti- nor pro-Dalit. If anything, it’s pro-poor and anti-manipulation-of-the-public-by-politicians. If you look at a balance sheet then, Aarakshan has more going for it than against.

Rating- 2.5*/5*
CBFC certification- U/A [without any cut]
Why to watch- One time watch for a huge cast especially BigB.

Monday, August 8, 2011

An Account Of My CA Journey So Far . . .

Woohoo! I cleared my CA-IPCC both groups. It's all due to the prayers of my near and dear ones that helped me achieve this success. There are many people who believed in my success more than me. I'm really happy. But this success in momentary as the big chunk i.e. Finals is yet to be commenced and won. Here, I want to share some memories/incidents which I came across during my journey of IPCC. Those who are interested may read-on.

I remember I had gone to Khatu Shyam Ji, Rajasthan after I cleared my CPT in January 2010. And due to the mistake in reading the time of my fro flight, I was late to reach the Jaipur Airport. It was the day of 25th Jan and due to heavy security-check prior to 26th Jan we were further running short of time. And when we reached the terminals, we saw our flight took-off. We missed it! We could have stayed at some hotel in Jaipur for that night and could have returned to Mumbai by train the next day. But I had my classes scheduled for 26th Jan and for that my dad managed the tickets of next immediate flight and finally we came back, wasting Rs.10000/-. His saying was that I shouldn't miss a single lecture which I had commited to NK sir and which was the only condition on which I was allowed admission as I was famous as Mr. Always Absent !!

Well we came back. I started going to class regularly after that. I thoroughly enjoyed my lectures. I had my Orientation Programme in May and then my ITT in June. It was fun doing that. I remember the day of 27th march. It was my 18th birthday and nobody got to wish me as I had kept my cell on switch off mode since the 26th Jan as NK sir asked us to do. I deactivated my FB and Orkut Profiles. I kept myself isolated from this world. Even on my b'day nobody wished me even in class as it was a totally new group for me and nobody knew it was my b'day. That day classes was scheduled from 12pm to 7pm. Still it was fun.

Then came 23rd June. The day we shifted off to our new residence in Khadakpada. As compared to C-block, Khadakpada was 3 more kms away from my classes and the condition of public-transport too is very pathetic over here. And getting adamant, I asked my dad to get me a bike anyhow. He was neck deep in loan which he had taken to purchase the new house. Every month he used to pay Rs. 13000/- as EMI. But still somehow he managed the funds and thus I got my new Pulsar on 5th of August, 2010. By this time, I was back to using cell and I re-activated my FB profile. Till 15th August I visited my classes diligently as I used to since 26th Jan but then the 'Keedas' in me started to raise their head. I used to leave my house in the name of going to classes but I used to go and have a ride till Thane i.e. I started to bunk the lectures at classes. This was where I lost the touch with my studies and my downfall started. In other words, till now I was in sync with my studies and from here on things started to pile-on [as Sachin sir says]. I missed one whole month of lectures in which the major part of Group-2 was taught. Also, I didn't studied at home rather wasted my lot of time on Facebook and Twitter chatting and doing whole lot of nothing but non-sense. Really, KC taught me to use internet with an objective that I'll use it for some creative/learning purpose but I got addicted to silly social-networking.

Came the November 2010. My first attempt of IPCC. I decided to give just Group-1. Before the start of exams I declared at home that please don't expect anything from me this time around. And gave the papers because I had filled the examination form worth Rs. 1000/-.I used to go to the examination with heavy-foots and used to leave in some 1hour time. After the exams I got back to FB once again instead of preparing Group-2. But during this time, one genuinely good thing happened. I buried all my hatchets with my dear friends Jeetu, Ankush and Kunal.

Came the 5th of Feb 2011. The result day. I was not expecting anything. I got to know that results are post-poned till 8th Feb. ""Okie Dokie. "BIG DEAL!" as Harish sir says. 5th ko aaye ya 8th ko, saanu ki fark painda hai. Assi te fir bhi fail hi honne hain !!"" was my thought. Finally came 8th Feb. The results opened. I got a result which said I was fail. Fine. But the thing that etched me the most was that I got 59 marks in Accounting, just one short of claiming exemption! That was the most amazing as well dis-heartening thingie. Amazing for the fact that, as per common outlook towards the Accountancy paper of Nov 2010, it was said to be a tough one and I had attempted mere 70 marks but still I managed to get 59 !! Whoa! And dis-heartening for I would have claimed exemption if not for that one mark. But then, such is life dearies. I got 39 in Taxation which I feared the most. I told one thing to myself that ,' Boss bina padhe ye haal hai toh padh ke exam doon toh Institute faad ke niklunga!'. Also, the line from 3Idiots fitted perfect for me. Dost fail ho toh dukh hota hai, par jab aap fail ho jao par aapka dost pass ho jaaye toh aur bhi dukh hota hai ~ !!.

I de-activated my FB Profile after that. I decided that I'll go through the entire syllabus. I started doing that too. I studied sincerely for something two weeks. But then came the wedding of a cousin and I got involved in that. Again missed the track of my IPCC studies. Then came SY second semester exams. Again got busy with that. Then, a cousin came to stay at our place. Again, the same story. By the time she left, it was early April. And again the disappointment and frustration of my plans not falling in place started to rise. And once again I thought of 'iss baar nahin agli baar pakka IPCC pass ho ke dikhaaunga'.

Came 3rd May 2011 [If I'm not wrong here]. I started giving my second attempt of IPCC papers. I used to go to the centre with Kunal and while going there, at Shivaji Road both of us used to read- Lonavala 30kms. And looking at that, I always used to tell him that, 'Bhai pass toh hone wale nahin hain, chal aaj ka paper dene ki jagah Lonavala ghoom ke aate hain!'. [Kunal, you remember this?].

Somehow the exams of group-1 went over. Came Group-2. I never studied Advanced Accounting, Auditing and ITSM in my class [I have already mentioned above that I started to bunk the lectures at Enkays after 15th Aug when the G-2 syllabus was at it's peak]. I studied all the 3 subject just for one night and wrote the papers just because I had paid Rs. 1600/- this time around.

Cut to present day i.e. 8th August 2011. This time around I didn't prayed hard to Him. I just said, 'Arziyaan saari main chehre par likh ke laaya hoon, tum se kya maangoon tum khud hi samajh lo'. Today the result of examination conducted in May 2011 was to be declared at 2pm. I was sure that this time too I'm going to flunk. I came home from college around 11pm. Got a bit freshened-up. I started to wipe-off the dust from my IPCC books as I knew I had to start studying them after 2pm. Suddenly at 12.37 pm Ashish called me up from client's place saying 'Chal Be Party De'. I was dumb-stuck. I've his number saved in my cell but dumb-head as he called up from client's place. I asked him who is speaking. He said it's me Ashish over here this side. I said 'Bol Bhai'. He said,.'Bhomiya bhai party do aap dono group clear ho gaye.' To this my reply was, 'Saale mazaak mat kar phone mein ghus ke maarunga, result toh do baje hai'. He said,' Party de, result aa gaya hai tu dono group clear hai, Kunal bhi dono group clear hai, Pravin [gandhi] bhi clear hai par Sarthak dono mein lattak gaya'. I said,' Bhai mazaak mat kar, main check karke dekhta hoon, agar pass hua toh tu jidhar bole udhar party'.

And with shaky hands I started my Lappy. I was so thrilled that I was finding it damn difficult to enter my password to turn on the Lappy. Somehow managed it. Connected my internet connection. Typed www.caresults,nic.in and entered 116530. And the lines of CA Anthem appeared to be made for me exclusively, 'Roll No. dala aur submit kiya, yaaron main pass ho gaya'.For 10 minutes or so, I couldn't believe that it was my result. Pinched myself and I was jolted back to reality. I cried in joy. Hugged my mom. Thanked the Almighty. Called up everyone and informed them about the result. Took their blessings and congratulation greetings over phone. Went to meet NK sir, Harish sir and Hariharan sir at classes. It was the best moment for me.

So this was my journey till here. Tomorrow will be quite a 'normal' day like any other [as Harish sir said]. Success is so momentary, isn't it?. I'll go back to college and sit and attend the lectures. May be, get a couple of more greetings from few more friends. Will decide about the firm which I get into for Articleship. Will keep you informed about all these things in the up-coming posts. Already this post has became so long.

P.S. Though I'm dancing in joy right now and I thouroughly cherish my CA journey so far, but somewhere down the line I've lost a friend whom I don't want to name on a social platform. Wish you were here with me to celebrate my success. Wish you would come back sometime, someday. You were my strength thoroughout my struggle to make it here. Lots of love to you. And to all the friends who failed, don't lose hope is the moral of the story. CA is not any hunky-dory kinda stuff. It'll test you every now and then. If an idiot like me can, anybody can. Never Quit. If the paper was tough, moderation will be easy and vice-versa. This is the principle of ICAI.And while summing up this post, I'm unwinding to Arziyan from Delhi-6. Prasoon Joshi, Kailash Kher and A.R. Rehman deserves kudos for this one.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Review of Chala Musaddi Office Office...

It is one of those films with which I fell in love with all over again while writing this review. Well there couldn't have been any other better time to release this movie. Right now the entire country is going through the demon of Corruption and the efforts to fight against it. What made Chala Musaddi Office Office [CMOO] more thought provoking for me was the timing.

There is nothing new in the story. It's the same old Musaddi-Lal-gaga. The one we witnessed on small screen for a long time. But Musaddi is a story of every Common Man. We're made to re-think about our gen-next when we see this movie. Musaddi's wife passes away due to negligence of hospital authorities [the kidney racket]. He goes to the Ganges to disperse the ashes of his wife. There he comes across the same old Pandey Ji, Bhatia, Shukla, Patel and Ushaji is the train and at the banks of the holy river.

When he comes back he realises that his identity is ticked as 'dead' in the Government Records due to non-sense uttering of the word 'Lamba' by one of his neighbour. Then his journey starts to prove that he is alive.

What made CMOO more worth my bucks is the characters in it. Pankaj Kapur sir as Musaddi is someone who, at one moment, can make you laugh at his simple pronunciation of 'HAIN JI!' and can make you cry just from his facial expression in the other. Though the film looks old in it's feel. Today's Govt. Office is not what it was few years back. Now the computers have replaced the typewriters. Director failed in this part. He must have kept the story in sync with the modern times. Also souple of scenes are bit stretched [TV after-effect I guess]. But apart from that, I personally didn't found any other fault in the movie.

Pandey ji [Hemant Pandey] proved his mettle once again as an actor by portraying coward guy, Bhatia [Manoj Pahwa] as KHAAU officer, Shukla[Sanjay Mishra] as peon but who is more effective than the Senior-most official, Patel [Deven Bhojani] as "do baatein ho jayengi" guy and Usha ji [Asawari] as the women official who performs he personal house-hold work in office.

The second USP of the movie apart from it's characters is the dialogues which are full of satire and sarcasm. You won't get some high-octane Babu Bhaiya[Paresh Rawal] kinda rocking-rollicking laughter. But the laughter which is subtle and is down to eart [found in everyday life] that too in bits and pieces. So, a word of caution for all those who are expecting Babu-bhaiya-chhaap laughter, stay back! this one is not for you guys, it's more for the brainy people.

I couldn't hear the lyrics properly in the theatre due to husky voice of Sukhvinder Singh. But I searched it one Google and found this line of Gulzar saahab worth praising-
"Goothli Goothli Choosa Gayaa Hai, Dekho Kaise Ye Aam Aadmi...".
This line says it all. Even Sajid-Wajid impressed me big time after Veer. Makrand Deshpande's character of Sootradhaar reminds us of the one we've already seen in Swades but still it was fun-filled. Perhaps it's one of the best picturisation of STUPID COMMON MAN on big screen ever. One of the leading amongst this category is of Naseer Sir in A Wednesday.
The confrontation scenes between Musaddi Lal and his son Bunty[Gaurav Kapur] is some-what very close to my personaly life.

The scene where Musaddi says that "Hum Global Warming Ke liye to dus minute light..." and "I can see some light beta." after that makes your heart simply wrench out to this master-actor. But the end [which is quite predictable] is made into bit Filmi-Andaaz[only this which qualifies to call this movie Filmi]..

Conclusion- Those who've even a bit of belief in the current on-going 'Corruption Hataao' movement, please go for it and get some further hope. Every film has it's own ups and downs. CMOO is no exception but still it's very good. Very very good. Watch it for Pankaj sir. Unke liye sau rupaye ka Gandhiji toh banta hai boss. :) It's and irony that a stupid film like Singham or Dabangg gets away with all the awards due to heavy publicity and the money-power and small budget films like this and Rocket Singh fails to leave even it's mark.

Rating- 3*/5* [2* for the movie and 1* for Pankaj sir alone.]

Certification- U [without any cuts].

Bekhabri . . .

Jo ab kisi aur ke jeene ka sahara sa hai //
Woh aaj bhi yaad ban ke hamara sa hai //
Aaj bhi hum sapney dekha karte hain yunhi //
Aaj bhi waqt ka ye pal bechaara sa hai . . .

Ek saans se doosri saans tak ki jo doori hoti hai //
Uss khaalipan mein aksar ye zindagi poori hoti hai //
Phir bhi jaane kis cheez mein khush hoon maen //
Har bechaeni sukoon hai, har afsos pyaara sa hai . . .

Gham aur khushi ke fark ki jo baat ho gayi //
Gham mujhmein reh gaya, khushi uske saath ho gayi //
Koi kaise bataaye faayde mein kaun raha //
Dil aaj phir jeeta hai, dil aaj phir haara sa hai . . .

:-/ %-)

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Koshish ...

Wo roothey hain humse baat nahin karte /
Shikayat hai ki hum unhe yaad nahin karte /
Koi samjhaaye unhe ki ve hamaari jaan hain /
Ek nahin sau yaadein unpe qurbaan hain /
Bas ek baar jo galti maaf kar dein woh /
Dil pe lagaa chot ka nishaan saaf kar dein woh /
Toh is manaane ki koshish ko yaadon mein dhaal kar /
Hum rakhenge apni dosti dil se sambhaal kar . . .

Boondein . . .

Kabhi safed si oas mein chupchaap si so jaati hain boondein /
Kabhi aankhon ke paani mein chhup kar rulaati hain boondein /
Kuch log kehte hain ki jhoot hai ye magar /
Har waqt har pal mera saath nibhaati hain boondein . . .

Aksar khaamoshi ki aawaaz mein kuch lafz pehan kar aati hain /
Har ek dard ko khud mein samett kar meri tarah khush rehti hain /
Har lamha beet-ta hai ek arse jaisa /
Aur har arse mein jaane kya kya seh jaati hain boondein . . .

Jab saari saari raat neend nahi aati hai /
Jab koi khwahish khuli aankhon mein sapne le aati hai /
Aur woh sapne jab sach hone ko hote hain /
Tab khushiyaan ban kar aankhon se beh jaati hain boondein . . .

Naa jaane kya kuchh apne mein samett-ti hain boondein /
Upar se nahin kehti bas andar se dekhti hain boondein /
Jab koi nahin deta do kadam ka saath bhi /
Uss waqt mere saath akeli reh jaati hain boondein . . .

Likes/Dislikes

My tweeting capacity for the hour has exceeded the limits and I'm just getting bored sitting here and waiting for my results and doing nothing. So I thought of jotting down few likes and dislikes of my own. Check it out if you are interested. :)
I like
Tea [Masala/Balcony Chai]
Intelligence
Simplicity
Wine Colour
Good Movies [Offbeat though]
Kishore Da songs [well it's his Birth Anniversary today too :)]
Shrikhand
Denims
Stripe-shirts
Spending time with kids
Smell of wet soil after first rains
Smell of petrol/cigi
Bearded men
Maggie
Unpredictability
Poetry [In other words, Gulzar!]
Deserved appreciation
Music
Aristocracy
Articulacy
Giving surprises
The smell of smoke
Honest laughters
Chess
Thoughtfulness
Clicking pictures
Bikes
MY cellphone
Creative advertisements
Domino’s cheese burst
The ability to sing well [coz I can't]
Paneer delicacies
Cheese [I can eat the entire cheese manufacturing plant of Amul alone!]
Being imperfect
Comfort [on my toilet seat]
Reading [on my toilet seat again!]
Good sense of humour [skewing towards Sarcasm though and not the cheap/vulgar one]
Travelling
Money
SRK
The smell of alcohol
Walking [on treadmill]
The fact that I don't have friends
To exist. [because you imagine I do!]


I dislike
Wet slippers
Haphazard colour combinations [especially the styling of 90s]
Over answerability
Bizarre nailpaints
Attention seekers
Artificiality
Absence of originality/mind
Forced rhymes
Insults
Improperly cooked food
Crowd
Uncomfortable clothes
Bad language
Dumbness
Mismanagement
Poor grammar
Egoists
Extraordinarily good looking men [they make me jealous!]
Ostentation [PDA as Niku puts it!]
Being misunderstood
Absence of logic [This is what my cousin Harsh excels at!]
Lack of etiquette
Negativity
Boring people
Intrusion
AND ABOVE ALL-
Me, My, Myself